Poopie The Pirate!

With my monkey minnions, I menace the shipping lanes everywhere!

Sunday, November 30, 2003

I found these in Leesie’s mailbox.

(2003-11-30 20:45) - happy - public

She’s been doing that NaNoWriMo thing; she finished it and I’m ”write” proud of her. The thing is, while she was writing that story, she wasn’t writing about me! Argh!

But I did find these in her mail box, and since they are so true and such good advice, I am copying them here for you:

Hi there,
I have a question: how does one give a sock monkey a bath? K has been chewing on Rupert’s feet and they are feeling pretty disgusting. Rupert doesn’t like disgusting feet. He feels a monkey of his caliper should not have drool encrusted feet- it just won’t do. He also hopes K will move beyond the ”puppy chewing” stage soon or else he may have to take a leave of absence, as have some other members of the household.

And this was Leesie’s reply:

Dearest K,
Sock Monkey loves baths. He gets naked and jumps into a tub full of a little laundry detergent and oxyclean. He soaks and soaks, and when the soaking is done, he jumps out and runs around naked and wet like a maniac. He’s slippery to catch when he is wet! He used to sit in a tuperware bowl and drive it like it was a hovercraft until the wind dried him, but after many times being smacked in the head by a wet, flying monkey and listening to him singing the Jetson song at the top of his lungs,we determined that the best way to dry him was to wrap him in a towel and tie a few strings around it–so that he wouldn’t flop all over, of course–and then throw him into the dryer. He likes turning and turning in there; he thinks it’s training to be an astronaut. It’s his Zero-G centrifuge.

She’s wrong, you know. I don’t just THINK it’s training. I know it’s training. For real and true, because I went to outer space very recently. I took my oxygen pills and twirled my tail and made airplane noises and flew out to the stars. It was very enlightening. For true.

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