Poopie The Pirate!

With my monkey minnions, I menace the shipping lanes everywhere!

Monday, May 27, 2002

I wanna get a Bananna Boy outfit!

(2002-05-27 23:41) - distressed - public
Music: Humming in my head!

Leesie took me to the movies!

SO, anyway, I got to the counter. There was a pretty girl there, for sure. I usually like to kiss beautiful ladies, but the line was long, so I just asked the lady if the seating was stadium, because Miguel-san gets pretty insistent about that stadium-seating thing. The girl laughed and laughed. I don’t know why, because it was a legitimate question, don’t you think? So then I asked for two tickets. She looked at me all confused.

”Should I buy three?” I asked. ”I usually get in for free. I thought we only had to pay for Leesie and Miguel-san?”

So the girl laughed some more and sold me two tickets. I gave them to Leesie; it’s hard for me to hold flat things sometimes.

Then we went in to the movies! I was so excited, and we were running late! Miguel-san wanted to buy some popcorn, but Leesie grabbed him out of the line. Good thing, too, ’cause we were almost late. And wouldn’t you know it? Miguel-san chose seats in the front, not up in the stadium seats. Jeez. Leesie hates the front, but I think she didn’t want to argue. She likes to sit near the back.

And then... Whooooooooooaaaaaa Neelllliiiieeeee!.... yippeeeee! We saw Spiderman! It was great! There was swinging and stomping and all sorts of swashbuckling stuff, except Spiderman wasn’t a pirate, he was a Superhero! The Green Goblin, a bad guy, was kinda power-rangerish, and some of the CG effects were not so well done, but other than that, it was great! I liked it so much that when we left the theatre, I pretended to swing on spider ropes and sung ”Spider Monkey, Spider Monkey, Friendly Neighborhood Spider Monkey!”

Whoooosh! Whooosh! Whooosh! Monkeys swing really great, especially Pirate monkeys accustomed to swinging in the rigging of pirate ships.

Anyway, back to the review& Leesie says she liked it way better than Star Wars:AOTC, and that the love scenes were way better. That’s girlie stuff, though, I don’t care about that. The only girls I love are Leesie and Valerie, and they do make me feel all squishy and mushy inside, but otherwise, all that love junk is for girls. Leesie also said that the guy in the spider-man suit had lovely thighs and a nice butt, a nice body all-in-all, but I can’t imagine what she’s talking about. So what? If it works the way it’s supposed to, then of course it’s nice, right?

Afterwards, we went to supper at Applebee’s. I tried to get the waitress to bring me some grog, but she said they didn’t have any! Imagine that! No grog! What kind of establishment is that place? So I drank a Bahamas Mama, because it was coconut and banana and rum, so it did kind of remind me of my days in the Caribbean. Miguel-san was kind of surprised that they didn’t card me, but why should they? I’m 600 years old, after all.

Thursday, May 16, 2002

Party Monkey

(2002-05-16 14:16) - contemplative - public
Music: Rightetous Brothers, ”You’re my soul and my highest...”

Last Saturday, Leesie took me to two parties!

That’s right!

The first one was a bay shower for Lianna. I didn’t do too much there, ’cause I thought it would be polite to let Lianna and her tummy be the stars of the show. Aren’t I magnanimous?

Then we went to a place called Corydon Hall for a party called Games Moot. Leesie was wearing a happy face, and I didn’t want to play with other people too much, I just wanted to be with my Leesie. She hid me under her cloak, in a pouch made by her plaid. I rubbed her back and hugged her and I pulled on her hair the way that is playing instead of the way that is hurting and tickled her and whispered jokes to her.

She has very long hair.

She did take me out to play a few times, though, and I got to see Lisa’s sock monkey. He’s finally gone to live with Lisa, so I don’t get to see him too much any more. I forgot what Lisa named him. Something long and funny.

Anyway, he’s been successfully integrated; Lisa loves him so much that she chews on him. That’s a happy baby and a happy sock monkey matched up–just like me -n- Leesie.

Once, Leesie sat down on me.

”urmph, murph, mumph!” I said, and I was patting her back, trying to get her to stop, but she didn’t she sat right down. Not too long, though, cause as soon as she felt me between her and the bench, she stood right up and pulled me out of the plaid.

As I blinked in the light, a pretty lady looked at me, then looked at Leesie, then looked back at me and said ”Oh my God! She just pulled a monkey out of her ass!” The lady laughed so hard that she almost fell out of her chair.

I thought monkeys were supposed to fly out of people’s butts? I guess it’s sorta that same.

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

Hey!

(2002-05-08 21:50) - nostalgic - public
Hey!

So I was in the tub playing pirate ship with my toy boat and the minimonks when Leesie Girl came home. She’s pretty quiet these few days; I think she doesn’t feel too good in her heart. So I’m gonna tell her all ’bout the adventures me an’ the minimonks had when she is settled in bed, so’s she can have good dreams.

We saw a Siren, and man, was she scary, but I am such a dashing fellow that all females, no matter the species, instantly fall in love with me. As soon as the Siren saw me, she lifted our boat out of the water and flew us across the Dire Straits to safety. She asked me to marry her, but I gently explained that interspecies marriages between sock monkeys and sirens don’t usually work out.

Besides, Valerie would kill me if I married someone else. But I didn’t say that. You know how those sirens are. They don’t take to compition too well, and my pretty Valerie has to be protected at all costs, even if it means loosing my treasure.

Valerie is so sweet and lovable. She’s also slightly hysterical, but I suppose she can’t help it, being a girl an’ all.

I love my Valerie lots.