Poopie The Pirate!

With my monkey minnions, I menace the shipping lanes everywhere!

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Paaaaartayyyy..... party?

(2003-05-18 15:40) - public

So. Leesie dragged me out last night. Nothing new about that, of course. But I learned something new!

Did you know that human babies drool? And bite? And slam you on to the concrete?

Yep! That’s what they do! At least, that’s what they do if they are happy and they like you. Wonder what happens when they don’t like you?

I tell you, I am one tired monkey today. We went to this den of gambling yesterday, Leesie and I, and people were wearin’ all these funny clothes, those Renaissance clothes that Leesie likes, and I tell you, those were the most restrained gamblers I ever saw! I wanted to poke them with my swell sword (ne ne ne nee-ne-ne-neeee!) and get some life into ’em! And dang, I tried everything to get me some treasure, but the only loose stuff scattered around was stuff like chain maile links and glass baubles and cut-up mardi gras beads.

The almonds wee pretty good, though. I had fun sneaking around and taking them off the tables. HA! I am such a good pirate!

Leesie is wrong when she says that those almonds were set out for anyone to enjoy. I pinched ’em. I tell you, when I was commanding the monkey minions in the Caribbean, almonds were a rare treasure, indeed. So there.

Nobody gives away such delicacies.

Anyway, there were a bunch of babies around, and Colton the baby saw me and fell in love! And why wouldn’t he, you know? I am an enchanting fellow, after all. Leesie has worshipped me simply for ages. And Colton came over and grabbed me by the head and swung me around and I was shouting ”whuunga whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuha” as I swung around because the baby had my mouth pinched shut so I couldn’t shout ”Hey!” like I’m famous for shouting and it was all together dizzifying. Then he chewed and drooled on my head and I was desperately motioning to Leesie Girl to come and save me but she just laughed!

And then, SLAM, I was thrown to the ground! Colton’s attention wandered.

Good thing, too.

That Leesie.

But she just smiled and picked me up, and kissed me lots and told me that she wasn’t worried because she knows how babies are.

She gave me some grog, though, and let me tell you, grog sure can sooth a beleaugered pirate.

Why yes! Yes, it can.